8x Places to cry your heart out (over a breakup)

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Great news if you’re happily in love, significantly less fun if you’ve just been dumped. And yes, it’s a thing: surprisingly many breakups happen around Valentine’s Day. This year, the odds are even higher in Brabant, because celebrating Carnival as a freshly single person may sound very tempting. Just been kicked to the curb? Or simply in need of a good, unapologetic cry for whatever reason? Either way, this list is for you.

Your own home

Home is where the (broken) heart is. For many people, crying at home is still the gold standard. We get that. This article is mainly for those ready to graduate from “crying on the couch”, but even devoted home-weepers deserve a proper setup. Maximize comfort. Stock up on an indecent amount of fancy chocolate at Chocolatier Hilfrawa or Boulanger, treat yourself to a good bottle of red from Henri Bloem or The Bottleshop, and grab some proper skincare to revive your cry-swollen face at SKINS, Douglas, or ICI Paris.

Any bar during Carnival

During Carnival, everyone drinks so much that absolutely no one will bat an eye if you’re crying quietly in a corner. You definitely won’t be the only one. Still feeling a bit awkward? Easy fix: dress up as the crying gypsy boy, Calimero, or Sadness from Inside Out. You’re not a miserable Carnival crier, you’re a committed method actor. Plus, Carnival is prime rebound season. Maybe you got dumped so your ex could dance the polonaise (the Dutch version of a conga line) as a free agent, but hey, you can do exactly the same. Looking for the best parties to cry-dance your way through and maybe snag a hot rebound? You’ll find them here.

Pathé. Vue, LAB-1 or Natlab?

No matter the reason, the cinema is a top-tier place to cry. Darkness hides the tears, and if you sniffle softly, chances are no stranger will lean over to ask if you’re okay. Go for a daytime screening of a solid drama, treat yourself to an absurdly large tub of popcorn (salty, obviously, to match your tears), and settle in. Or better yet: stretch out. Pathé and Vue offer gloriously comfy recliners for maximum wallowing, but LAB-1’s cozy seats and Natlab’s practical chairs are just as welcoming to you and your emotional breakdown.

Tokyo by Night

Do you process heartbreak best by belting out devastating ballads at full volume, but want to maintain a good relationship with your neighbors? Book a private karaoke room at Tokyo by Night. Here, you can sob your way through “Someone Like You” by Adele or “All by Myself” by Céline Dion, all in complete privacy. Order some of their excellent snacks in between songs and don’t forget to hydrate: crying is surprisingly energy-intensive.

THE RAGE

If this heading alone made you think “yes, exactly that”, you’re in the right place. THE RAGE is a smash room for anyone whose heartbreak has shifted from sad to furious. You’ll get a protective suit, helmet, and goggles, pick a weapon (we highly recommend the crowbar), and then absolutely destroy unsellable cast-offs from Eindhoven thrift stores. Screaming is optional, but strongly encouraged. Pro tip: bring an item or a photo of your ex. The staff at THE RAGE won’t be shocked. In fact, they wholeheartedly recommend it.

Van Abbemuseum or another art space

Are you completely done with tears? Consider an unapologetic cry in a museum or gallery, like Van Abbemuseum or MU. Art is emotion. No one will think twice if you shed a tear (or twenty) in front of a powerful artwork. Someone who’s deeply moved by art? People find that beautiful. And if you’re lucky, a cute art lover might even offer you a tissue. Check our museum page for inspiration.

De Tongelreep or Ir. Ottenbad

We know it’s an open door, but if your face is already wet, no one can tell you’re crying. Especially if you’re wearing swimming goggles. At De Tongelreep or Ir. Ottenbad, you can swim laps while quietly sobbing and plotting your revenge on the person who broke your heart. And if ending up with a ridiculously fit body is part of that revenge fantasy, you’re already working on it. Win-win.

Genneper Hoeve

We end on a truly therapeutic note: Genneper Hoeve. At this city farm, you can admire pigs, chickens, cows, and calves. Cute animals are more than reason enough to feel legitimately emotional, a perfect excuse if you’re slightly embarrassed about your tears. And if all else fails, you can always claim a severe allergy to pollen and animal hair.